Beetle Blogger

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So? How Does It Hurt YOUR Marriage?

I often hear people in discussions saying things like “How is extending marriage to include same sex coupling going to hurt your marriage?”

There are several answers but let’s just look at the harm to the institution of marriage itself.  I’ve been reading “The Future of Marriage” by David Blankenhorn which is pretty insightful in places.  In particular the following quote caught my eye:

“What purports to be a definition – marriage is not connected to children – is in fact a redefinition that ends up negating the very thing being defined.”

He goes on to explain himself by showing that the Justices in the Massachusetts supreme court argued that separating civil unions and marriage for same sex couples causes them to be “excluded from the full range of human experience.” [Opinion of the Justices, No. SJC-08860, Goodridge v. Department of Public Health p. 7]

Paradoxically in a 2004 follow-up the justices note that one “rational and permissible” method for resolving the controversy surrounding same sex marriage would be to “jettison the term ‘marriage’ altogether.” [Opinions of the Justices to the Senate, No. SJC-09163, Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, p.9]

Let’s outline this for those still unclear:

1. Without marriage people are “excluded from the full range of human experience.”
2. One way to make everyone equal under the law is to “jettison the term ‘marriage’ altogether.”

Either marriage is essential or unnecessary.  It can’t be both.  You can’t say it’s so integral that it must be redefined to such a meaninglessly slim definition that you can get rid of it altogether.  It’s circular reasoning.  What is lost is the essential nature of marriage, the thing that makes it invaluable to society.

Procreation, children and families cannot be separated from marriage without rendering the whole useless.

I’m reminded forcefully of Solomon in the Bible who was presented with two mothers who both claimed parenthood of a baby.  His suggestion was to “Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one, and half to the other.”  The mother who’s baby had died and was lying exclaimed, “Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it.” [1 Kings 3:25,26]

How does extending marriage hurt my marriage?  Marriage is ABOUT children and family.  Without family, it means nothing and a “rational and permissible” methods of achieving equality under the law is to “jettison the term ‘marriage’ altogether.”  “[I]t is through children alone that sexual relations become of importance to society, and worthy to be taken cognizance of by a legal institution.” [Betrand Russell in "The incongruous Spy p. 77 by John le Carre]

Taking the essence of marriage out of marriage DESTROYS marriage, that’s how it hurts my marriage.

It’s historical fact – justices in the Massachusetts already said it.

—Beetle Blogger