Fatherless Nation

fatherless_nation

More Than Love

Feminists, Homosexual Activists and Sexual Revolutionists would have us believe that love is all you need.  Who needs men, fathers or responsibility? Whether by divorce, death or design, among all the tragedies that are inherent in our human experience, the absence of a loving, committed dad is one of the most common.

From “21 Reasons Why Gender Matters” by the Fatherhood Foundation

#4   “The masculine gender is an essential ingredient for fatherhood, and children raised by a committed father
do much better in life.”

Men and women are different, and both bring unique qualities to parenthood. Fatherhood is indispensable, and is premised on masculinity, maleness, being a man. Research is quite clear that children need a loving father to protect, defend and guide them. Children growing up without fathers experience numerous problems,  including:

  • an increased risk of being involved in crime and criminal activities
  • a greater likelihood of involvement in illicit drug use, alcohol consumption and tobacco use
  • a greater chance of committing suicide
  • a greater likelihood of developing mental health problems
  • an increased risk of sexual promiscuity and other sexual problems, including, gender confusion issues
  • an increased risk of becoming a victim of child sexual abuse
  • a greater chance of growing up poor or in poverty

Due to the enormous efforts of highly devoted, hard-working mothers and/or others brought in to aid them, children who grow up without fathers do not always experience these negative outcomes, but generally speaking, such problems are the usual result of growing up in fatherless families. The research on this has become quite extensive and persuasive.

Indeed, so much research on the negative impact of fatherlessness has accumulated over the years that a number of book-length summaries have been written to cover all the data.  There has also been a large amount of Australian data to back up this international research.

Two Canadian studies suggest that there is much more to masculinity than testosterone. While testosterone is certainly important in driving men to conceive a child, it takes an array of other hormones to turn men into fathers. And among the best fathers, it turns out, testosterone levels actually drop significantly after the birth of a child. If manhood includes fatherhood, which it does for a majority of men, then testosterone is hardly the ultimate measure of masculinity.

In fact, the second of the two studies, which was recently published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings, suggests that fathers have higher levels of estrogen, the well-known female sex hormone, than other men. The research shows that men go through significant hormonal changes alongside their pregnant partners, changes most likely initiated by their partner’s pregnancy, and ones that even cause some men to experience pregnancy-like symptoms such as nausea and weight gain.

It seems increasingly clear that just as nature prepares women to be committed mothers, it prepares men to be devoted fathers.

The broader issue of how children thrive in a biological two-parent family also ties in here. Most often when the two-parent family is not found, it is the father who is missing. Thus single-parent families are overwhelmingly headed by overworked and overtaxed mothers. The research on these sorts of households shows the negative outcomes for children. And again, the research is massive, with good summaries of the data now available.  Moreover, the Australia data replicates the findings from overseas.

The various ways in which children need, and thrive with, a father cannot be recounted here. But just one small example can be offered: fathers are essential in playing with their children, especially boys, in what is known as rough and tumble play. This enables boys to sublimate their excess energy and use their muscles in a socially acceptable way. One of the reasons for so much anti-social behaviour by boys – vandalism, street fighting, gangs, etc. – is because of father-absence. In single mother families, the mothers do their best, but cannot substitute for the absent father.

Indeed, one youth worker who has counselled many hundreds of delinquent young males has noted that the reason they tend to gravitate toward gangs and violence and drugs is precisely because of being brought up in father-absent households. He says that “almost 100 per cent” of these kids are from “single parent families or blended families”.

Thus maleness and fathers are indispensable to the well being of society and the healthy development of children.

That’s the research perspective.  This next is the child’s perspective.  I came across this article from the Washington Post.   Kids are more than trophies or proof of family status.  There’s no adequate substitution for a loving father in the home.  —Beetle Blogger

My Father Was an Anonymous Sperm Donor

By Katrina Clark

Sunday, December 17, 2006; Page B01

I really wasn’t expecting anything the day, earlier this year, when I sent an e-mail to a man whose name I had found on the Internet. I was looking for my father, and in some ways this man fit the bill. But I never thought I’d hit pay dirt on my first try. Then I got a reply — with a picture attached.

From my computer screen, my own face seemed to stare back at me. And just like that, after 17 years, the missing piece of the puzzle snapped into place.

The puzzle of who I am.

I’m 18, and for most of my life, I haven’t known half my origins. I didn’t know where my nose or jaw came from, or my interest in foreign cultures. I obviously got my teeth and my penchant for corny jokes from my mother, along with my feminist perspective. But a whole other part of me was a mystery.

That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn’t know his name. My mother never talked about him — because she didn’t have a clue who he was.

When she was 32, my mother — single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family — allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child.

And for a while, I was pretty angry about it.

I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the “parents” — the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his “donation.” As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?

Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies — conceived in the late 1980s and early ’90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish — are coming of age, and we have something to say.

I’m here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn’t ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It’s hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won’t matter to the “products” of the cryobanks’ service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.

We offspring are recognizing the right that was stripped from us at birth — the right to know who both our parents are.

And we’re ready to reclaim it.  rest of the story here at the Washington Post

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7 Comments

  1. December 7, 2008 at 5:44 am

    There are more rights this women should have had also. Like the right to have been conceived through an act of love between her mother and father. Most of us came into being because of the love between our parents. This women came into being after her father masturbated into a container had the sperm frozen and then later injected into a women laying on an operating table. I suppose she does not feel all that special

  2. beetlebabee said,

    December 7, 2008 at 12:31 pm

    Every child has the right to a mom and a dad. That’s not something that can be replaced by two moms, or two dads. In death or divorce cases, everyone agrees that this is a tragedy for children. In the case of homosexual “families” we’re supposed to celebrate fatherlessness or motherlessness by design and hold it up as equal to the ideal.

    If the emotion is set aside for a moment and the issue is looked at rationally, it is much clearer to see that there is more to parenting and raising children than just love.

  3. Woman on the Street said,

    December 8, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    Of course a mom and a dad is the most ideal situation. People have been getting married and having children the same way for thousands of years… and it’s only been recently that technology has improved enough to facilitate other kinds of situations such as single moms through invetro… but just because we can do it… doesn’t mean we should. Children have the right to grow up in a loving family sitation with a MOM and a DAD.

  4. Stephanie said,

    December 9, 2008 at 12:00 am

    ‘Feminists, Homosexual Activists and Sexual Revolutionists would have us believe that love is all you need. Who needs men, fathers or responsibility? ‘

    I’m curious, where did you get this idea from? Who says that we don’t need men, fathers or responsibility?

    ‘Whether by divorce, death or design, among all the tragedies that are inherent in our human experience, the absence of a loving, committed dad is one of the most common.’

    And this one?

    I’m also curious, how do you think the average child grows up when raised by only a father? Do you think they would be ok? What issues would that child might have then? Or what about two dads, who are gay, raising a child? What would that child be missing then and could they get what is missing elsewhere?

    Would you say that maybe each and every child outcome case may be different? There are many children who grow up to be very productive adults in our society that have come from all sorts of families AND there are also some not so productive adults who have come from all sorts of families as well. Don’t you think?

    Wouldn’t the difference be HOW we raise that child then? Perhaps it is more about love than what many would like to admit.

  5. beetlebabee said,

    December 9, 2008 at 1:40 am

    Stephanie, thanks for commenting, the above two thoughts were exclusively by yours truly, and have been fleshed out several times on this blog. You are welcome to comb through the archives or we could hash it all out right here.

    You can argue tit for tat, but the research is blindingly clear, kids do better when they have both a mom and a dad.

  6. Stephanie said,

    December 9, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    That blindingly clear research is not as clear as you are attempting to make it. There is much diversity in that research.

    I found this story and have heard many more like them but for some reason many people choose to turn their backs on these stories, rejecting them as if they are fictional.

    http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/families/a/Daughter.htm

    I don’t desire to hash or argue anything out with you or anyone else. Really one of the biggest points I was poorly attempting to make in my first comment is that if we are not willing to look honestly and objectively to each side of this argument, sifting through ALL of the evidence, then we are not being very responsible, real or honest with ourselves and others, are we?

    You are fighting for traditional marriage throughout your blog here and Prop 8 really isn’t about fighting for two parents in the home, for you, it’s about fighting for what you all traditional marriage, a man and a woman, right? Then how do ‘single’, ‘heterosexual’ women who want to have a child compare to that? I don’t believe they do and you are really comparing apples to oranges.

    I think I understand your attempt though. There’s always that scenario of the lesbian couple who want to have a child so they go to a sperm bank to get injected. Then there is a chance that child will grow up wanting to know about their father. I agree, that could very well become a big issue. But that is a whole other issue to be addressed and perhaps it’s one that needs to be addressed now because there are quite a few heterosexual people who have been doing that for some time now. Do we need to fight against that or let each person be responsible for their own actions and choices?

    Your article of the heterosexual single woman who wanted to have a baby is not the case for a lot of gay couples. There are quite a few gay men and women who are adopting children that other heterosexual people have given up for one reason or another. In those cases, the child doesn’t know who their biological parents are. These children are still thriving.

    As for the influence of a father, in the story I linked you to, this story is like many other gay families, there are many motherly/female and fatherly/male figures who influence these children in a very positive way. Loving them, affirming them, etc. Many times that’s more than what you get in your traditional marriage.

    When do we start looking in to these stories and others like them? Again, if we are not willing to look honestly and objectively to each side of this argument, sifting through ALL of the evidence, then we are not being very responsible, real or honest with ourselves and others, are we?

    Each case is so very different and we can’t keep using generalities, it’s not very responsible of any of us, regardless of what side one is on in this issue.

    Peace.

  7. Ayame Sohma said,

    April 5, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    Ronnie Paris was murdered by his “loving” father. We need parenting licenses and training courses, not a bigoted and anachronistic anchoring to traditions.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronnie_Paris


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