Top Ten Ways to Spot the ‘Turf in Maine

turf

Is it ‘Turf????

Starting in October, Gay marriage activists from all over California are going to be pouring into Maine hoping to stop the People’s Veto.  Cleverly disguised as legitimate grass roots participants, Astroturf are paid or compensated plastic grass imitations.  Do not be fooled!  Here are some tried and true methods to determine if your caller is true Maine grass roots or imported CALIFORNIA ASTROTURF.

TOP TEN Ways to Spot the ‘Turf in Maine!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….1. Check the tan, if it’s deep with no lines, 10-1 it’s turf. Reject the turf! Stand for Marriage Maine!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….2. Check the shoes, flip flops?? 10-1 it’s turf. Reject the turf! Stand for Marriage Maine!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….3. DUDE!  Run Away!! AAAAAAAA!!!!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….4. Thinks Piscataqua is a rare type of sushi.

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….5. Check the highlights, severe blonde, pink or purple? 10-1 it’s turf. Reject the turf! Stand for Marriage Maine!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….6. Like man, you’ll just know k?

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….7. Has a nose ring, belly ring and toe ring and despite the weather you can still see all three. Reject the turf!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….8. Check the teeth, magazine ad white? Turf!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….9. The area code on the caller ID is anything but yours ’cause everyone knows Maine only has one!  ‘Turf Alert!  Stand for Marriage Maine!

How to spot CA astroturf in Maine….10. They get nervous when you confess you’re really a MAINIAC.  WOOO HOOO!!! Yeah BABY!  Stand for Marriage Maine!!!

astroturf_dude

Sorry ‘turf babies, voluntourists and staycationers!

You Don’t Own the People’s Veto!


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9 Comments

  1. Pearl said,

    September 25, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    Ha ha haaaaaaaaa! Oh that’s hilarious! Thanks for a good laugh, Beetle. Hopefully those Maine folk in the NE will watch out for those tan folk in the SW. Or at the very least give them some bad directions that’ll send them back home where they belong. :D

  2. Robert said,

    September 26, 2009 at 8:19 am

    Hilarious!

  3. Euripides said,

    September 26, 2009 at 11:13 am

    That’s pretty darned funny. Ya’ll need to do a serious one as well, about the folks who will claim to be Mainers and stand up and talk about how much the pro-marriage folks have hurt their self esteem. For some reason, people seem to buy into that.

  4. pomegranateappleblog said,

    September 26, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    i love this! my favorite is the sushi. so funny.

  5. Sally said,

    September 27, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    This is so funny, but not as funny as the gay lobby thinking that they can run their Maine campaign from Southern California. That’s just surreal!

    BTW….Piscataqua does sound fishy, and oriental! ….does that mean I’m from California?

  6. Grant said,

    September 27, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    “You Can’t Own the People’s Veto!”

    That’s right. This is our election, our voice. It’s too bad that people think they can fly in here and manipulate our system. It won’t work, but the fact that the attempt is even being made is odious.

  7. Grant said,

    September 27, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    I have to just say that the ‘turfmobile is quite stunning. It probably gets terrible gas mileage, but it does make a good conversation piece I bet!

  8. beetlebabee said,

    September 27, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    I thought it was hilarious myself. I can’t believe someone would put that stuff on their car, unless they were advertising ‘turf. We have a turf company truck in our area that I frequently see running down the freeway. It has a giant picture of green grass across the back of it and reads: INSTANT GRASSIFICATION! I smile every time I see it.

  9. Samantha said,

    September 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    I read this on another page, I’m passing it along! They’re planning an all out invasion. It’s kind of interesting on the one hand but frightening to think that they could influence the election. Come on Maine! Be aware!

    In Maine, the No on 1/Protect Maine Equality campaign has to win – and we need help.

    We have to win in Maine not only to secure full equality for Maine’s same-sex couples, but to help shut down the conservative agenda.

    In addition to sending Adam to Maine, you can donate to our campaign via OpenLeft’s very own ActBlue page. Help us make sure we have the resources to keep our ads on the air. In a small state like Maine, every little bit helps. I call it a “cheap-date” state.

    Also, you can join Adam in Maine through our Volunteer Vacation Program, which begins the first week of October. People from all over the country are coming to Maine to be full-time volunteers on the ground in targeted towns for one week. We’ll provide the housing for anyone who can get to Maine. Our friends over at Travel For Change are helping arrange travel and are more than willing to help you sponsor another volunteer if you can’t make it yourself, including taking your donated airline miles.

    At the No on 1/Protect Maine Equality campaign, we’ve been very appreciative of the support from progressives around the country. This is about marriage equality in Maine, but it’s about much more, too.

    http://www.openleft.com/diary/15263/maine-marriage-equality-and-openleft


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