I Am A Mother.
As I was reading through NOM blog today, I came across these two posts by women on opposite ends of the marriage debate. Their heartfelt takes on marriage and what it means really impressed me. In particular, they are both powerful, emotional statements, yet worlds apart in focus:
“I am a citizen, who desires nothing more than any other citizen. I want children for the exact same reasons any heterosexual does. I want to be married for the exact same reasons any heterosexual does.
I can’t change who I am, or who I fall in love with any more than you can, and I should just accept I’ll never have the same thing as my sister or brother, who are heterosexual?
And because of people like you, my partner and I will probably have a harder time raising our son than you would your children.
The only reason a child would think any less of his or her family would be because people like you do.
Good night, and I really hope none of your children are gay. If they are, make sure and tell them early on why they shouldn’t ever be able to marry. It’ll be easier on them in the long-run.” —Marci
When I dated, I chose who I made relationships with. I chose who I would live my life with. No one took those choices from me. Because of my choices, my children will have a mom and a dad, and I will work every day to make sure it stays that way because my children need a mom and a dad. I would never deny a child what they are entitled to simply because of my own selfish wants and desires. Children have rights too, rights that can’t be denied simply because they don’t fit a certain parent’s sexual desires. I am prepared to teach my children by example what a family is, and You can bet I will make sure that they know, if they are not prepared to give a child the things they need in life, they ought not be bringing those children into the world. I am a mom, and because I’m a mom, the needs of my children surpass my petty wants. That is a sacrifice I’m willing to make a thousand times over, and one we should comit to as a society. Every child needs a mom and a dad. Death and divorce aside, we should do everything we can to give them the best chance possible to have that in their lives.” —Sandee
I thought the response to Marci’s letter was singularly powerful. One letter focused on the writer, what the writer wanted, what the writer felt, and children were an accessory to that. The other writer’s focus is on her family, her children and what makes a family.
Two mothers. Two world views.
The first takes no responsibility, the second is the embodiment of responsibility.
It was a poignant example of the very basis of disagreement in the marriage debate, excellently articulated by two of society’s mothers.