Message in a Bottle: To My Missing Mother– From Tbilisi, Georgia

I received this letter to me personally from a family friend who is serving a mission with his wife in Tbilisi, Georgia:
Everyone,
We visited a home for mentally challenged older adult age individuals. They range from severe to some who are more normal than some folks on the street. All of which have been abandoned by their families for one reason or another, mostly due to economics. We were doing a humanitarian project for them, (distributing medical supplies) so we made a few visits in the process. On one visit an individual came up to me and asked if I could help him. He handed me a letter he had written. It was in Georgian so of course I could not read it. So I had our translator read it. I could not hold back the tears as she read the letter. (Note the reason for the red eyes in my picture.) I gave him a hug and promised I would try to do something. Can you help? — David


Our family decided to try to help. Tbilisi, Georgia doesn’t have a lot of technology, but in looking for miracles, you try whatever you can. Perhaps a posting online will, like a message in a bottle, somehow find it’s way to her– or inspire some other mother, in similar circumstances to find her child. Here is the letter he wishes to send to his mother:

To My Dear Mother,

Hello, Mother, how are you? Are you doing well? Mother, I am your son, Evgeni Abdalov. What happened? Why did you forsake me? What did I do wrong that you forsook me? Maybe you had a hard time? Maybe you were sick? If you were sick and now you are well, why haven’t you come to see me? How can I believe you don’t remember me? I can’t believe it, and you know why? Because mother will never leave her child, even if he is sick. Maybe someone had forced you to do so? Do you know that I am waiting for you to come? I’ve been waiting for you forever. Once, when I was little, parents came to one of children, he was playing with them, giving them hugs and kisses. I began to cry. I was being asked why I was crying, and I answered: I want my Mom to come. Nurses were telling me, that my Mom would come to see me, too, they were calming me down.

One week passed, then one month, but you didn’t come. I wanted to see you, I was asking myself: “What did I do wrong? Why nobody comes to me?” but I didn’t have an answer to this question neither then, nor now. And the only one person, who can answer this question is you, mother. Still, what happened? Why have you forsaken me? Didn’t it hurt your heart? Couldn’t you at least say Hello to me?

I am still waiting for you, mother. Please, show up, I need you. I don’t want to die without getting to know you. I will forgive you, just come. I am waiting for you impatiently.

With great love to you,

Your son Evgeni Abdalov. If you can hear me or read this letter, find me.

Evgeni Abdalov was born on February 20, 1983

Dusheti Home for the Disabled, Dusheti Georgia

If you have any information that could help Evgeni Abdalov find his mother, please contact me directly through the comments section. Private comments will not be published.  Thanks guys, in advance.
–Beetle

I Am A Mother. A Tale of Two Views

I Am A Mother.

As I was reading through NOM blog today, I came across these two posts by women on opposite ends of the marriage debate.  Their heartfelt takes on marriage and what it means really impressed me.  In particular, they are both powerful, emotional statements, yet worlds apart in focus:

“I am a citizen, who desires nothing more than any other citizen. I want children for the exact same reasons any heterosexual does. I want to be married for the exact same reasons any heterosexual does.

I can’t change who I am, or who I fall in love with any more than you can, and I should just accept I’ll never have the same thing as my sister or brother, who are heterosexual?

And because of people like you, my partner and I will probably have a harder time raising our son than you would your children.

The only reason a child would think any less of his or her family would be because people like you do.

Good night, and I really hope none of your children are gay. If they are, make sure and tell them early on why they shouldn’t ever be able to marry. It’ll be easier on them in the long-run.”  —Marci

“Marci,

When I dated, I chose who I made relationships with. I chose who I would live my life with. No one took those choices from me. Because of my choices, my children will have a mom and a dad, and I will work every day to make sure it stays that way because my children need a mom and a dad. I would never deny a child what they are entitled to simply because of my own selfish wants and desires. Children have rights too, rights that can’t be denied simply because they don’t fit a certain parent’s sexual desires. I am prepared to teach my children by example what a family is, and You can bet I will make sure that they know, if they are not prepared to give a child the things they need in life, they ought not be bringing those children into the world. I am a mom, and because I’m a mom, the needs of my children surpass my petty wants. That is a sacrifice I’m willing to make a thousand times over, and one we should comit to as a society. Every child needs a mom and a dad. Death and divorce aside, we should do everything we can to give them the best chance possible to have that in their lives.”  —Sandee

I thought the response to Marci’s letter was singularly powerful.  One letter focused on the writer, what the writer wanted, what the writer felt, and children were an accessory to that.  The other writer’s focus is on her family, her children and what makes a family.

Two mothers. Two world views.

The first takes no responsibility, the second is the embodiment of responsibility.

It was a poignant example of the very basis of disagreement in the marriage debate, excellently articulated by two of society’s mothers.

—Beetle Blogger

Children Need Dual Gender Parenting

Children deserve gendered society.  They need the influence of both a mother and a father, it is their birthright.  There are times when death or divorce prevent children from being raised by a mom and a dad, but I think we all agree, that such a situation is a tragedy in the life of that child.  Men and women are different.  There’s no question.  Each gender has a gift to give to the next generation.  Children need stoic strength, as well as gentle kindness, fishing trips and horseplay as much as hugs and emotional comforts.

There are stereotypical gender roles characterized in a myriad of ways, but the bottom line is that each gender is gloriously unique by design.  Any marital-like arrangement that denies a child one gender or another in it’s parentage by design is less than ideal, less than it should be, and less than a child deserves.

I’ve been reading up on the effects of same sex marriage on kids.  The results show that kids need both genders.  www.whatistheharm.org

Love Isn’t Enough: 5 Reasons Why
Same-Sex Marriage Will Harm Children

By Trayce Hansen, Ph.D.

1. First, mother-love and father-love—though equally important—are qualitatively different and produce distinct parent-child attachments. Specifically, it’s the combination of the unconditional-leaning love of a mother and the conditional-leaning love of a father that’s essential to a child’s development. Either of these forms of love without the other can be problematic. Because what a child needs is the complementary balance the two types of parental love and attachment provide.

2. Children progress through predictable and necessary developmental stages. Some stages require more from a mother, while others require more from a father.

3. Boys and girls need an opposite-sexed parent to help them moderate their own gender-linked inclinations. As example, boys generally embrace reason over emotion, rules over relationships, risk-taking over caution, and standards over compassion, while girls generally embrace the reverse. An opposite-sexed parent helps a child keep his or her own natural proclivities in check by teaching—verbally and nonverbally—the worth of the opposing tendencies. That teaching not only facilitates moderation, but it also expands the child’s world—helping the child see beyond his or her own limited vantage point.

4. Same-sex marriage will increase sexual confusion and sexual experimentation by young people. The implicit and explicit message of same-sex marriage is that all choices are equally acceptable and desirable. So, even children from traditional homes—influenced by the all-sexual-options-are-equal message—will grow up thinking it doesn’t matter whom one relates to sexually or marries.

5. If society permits same-sex marriage, it also will have to allow other types of marriage. The legal logic is simple: If prohibiting same-sex marriage is discriminatory, then disallowing polygamous marriage, polyamorous marriage, or any other marital grouping will also be deemed discriminatory. The emotional and psychological ramifications of these assorted arrangements on the developing psyches and sexuality of children would be disastrous.

These excerpts were taken from an article by Dr. Trayce Hansen and can be found in entirety here: http://www.drtraycehansen.com/Pages/writings_samesex.html